Happy Monday Readers!
So I did a thing, and recorded my pilot episode of the soon-to-launch podcast. It’s currently in the stages of being approved by all of the major podcast / audio hosts. Holy-freaking-crap, this is getting really real.
Over the last several weeks I have learned how to launch a podcast + all of the technical stuff that goes into it beyond just writing a script, I have worked on the blog and podcast rebrand, have spent time researching the upcoming posts and podcasts, and took a multi-day trip through Austria, Slovenia, and Croatia…travel which will be covered in an upcoming blog.
The most important thing I have learned however, beyond the research and technical aspects that go into this platform as a whole, are how to identify and begin to address my own self-limiting bullshit.
Yeah…you read that right.
When I was in the 10th grade, we were studying some event in history. The teacher had us reading popcorn-style out loud to the whole class. I dreaded this type of learning. My comprehension while reading aloud is roughly non-existent and I always got really bad anxiety because on more than one occasion students would tell me I had read the sentence completely wrong. I suspected I was mildly dyslexic (I was never diagnosed but have a number of the symptoms consistent with dyslexia), but teachers never said anything about it, and I didn’t feel like being different, so instead, I just dealt with my anxiety, asked the teacher not to call on me, got called on more as a way to “boost my confidence,” internalized getting mad about it, and then moved on with my life vowing not to read out loud ever again.
I moved on but never really got over having other kids tell me I was dumb because I couldn’t read a sentence out loud very well.
I didn’t remember this moment until I went to record my first podcast weeks ago and was trying to read the script aloud, and got stopped up by this forgotten moment that was all of a sudden surging to the forefront of my thoughts. I decided to try the podcast a different day.
I had to sit and try to figure out where this lack of confidence all of a sudden came from. I had planned to work on the podcast that day…and then all of a sudden I had all these unexpected negative feelings creating noise in my head. This is what taking the platform from an inconsistent hobby blog, to a more consistent platform has felt like…constantly…and probably was a bigger component of previous inconsistency than I gave it credit.
I’d love to say that one morning I woke up, realized I was a good writer, became super dedicated to this mission, flung myself wildly and uninhibitedly into the work and took over the world, but that’s just not the case.
Instead, this journey over the last several weeks has looked a lot more like me telling myself to put pants on, reading personal development books and reorganizing my self talk. It’s looked like journaling and shouting mantras in the shower at the top of my lungs (my dogs hate this by the way, it freaks them out). It’s looked like me sometimes dragging my own ass to the computer, not because I don’t want to write, but because it’s actually really scary to put yourself out there when people might think you are dumb or weird or wrong.
Fun fact, adulthood and advanced education does not mean we have all our shit figured out.
It’s looked like this because leaning into things I have never done before in a way I have never tried before and putting myself out there in a way I never have, has brought up stuff.
This pursuit of growth has made me realize how many negative things I say to myself inside my own head that serve to create unnecessary road blocks in this new project I am pursuing. And much to my chagrin, i’ve learned how many places I have emotional hangups. Money, self worth, capabilities, reading out loud, intelligence, technical prowess, all make the short list for areas in my life I have some deeply rooted negative self talk.
I’ve decided to take away the power of my negative self-talk and rewire the way I spend time in my own head. It’s important for me on an individual level, but it’s also necessary for what we are about to accomplish together with this platform.
This platform is intended to help readers and listeners be able to better understand the world around them, so that they may be able to more thoughtfully engage the complex and confusing problems they care about. I have to get rid of my own self limiting beliefs about my ability to create such a platform if anyone engaging the platform is to believe that this platform can actually serve as a tool to help them actually change the world.
We can both read the last sentence together twice.
Collaboratively, we all must address our self-limiting beliefs if we want to change tomorrow. We must address the limiting beliefs in our heads that tell us we don’t have enough power to change the world, or enough knowledge to change the world, or enough time to change the world, or enough influence, or charism, or followers, or confidence, or enough anything to change the world.
These self limiting beliefs…I have them and so do you. And seeing them, honoring them, and kicking them in the fucking face is an essential part to understanding ourselves, changing policy, and creating a world even more kick-ass than this.
As soon as the pilot episode is available for listening, details will be in your inbox.
Your Partner in Policy,
Taylor Patrice
BRANDING +
Branding is well underway, as is website work, podcast work, research, social media work, and personal development work. Though it’s been a bit quiet, and may continue to be, a lot of work is being done in the background as we near the launch the new focus of this blog. Thanks for being patient with my one-woman team.
PODCAST
I am new to podcasting, so there is a steep learning curve that has me sipping tea and staring at the screen for a large majority of my day. I am learning both about how to command sound + how to do all the technical stuff that I never thought I would learn how to do. Once the podcast is hosted and approved, a special email is headed your way.
BLOG
A travel post is due to go out here shortly, as is a post about the relationship between politics and policy. There is a lot to look forward too, and I can’t wait to see you over at the blog!
TRAVEL
I will be writing on the road for a large portion of the next several months. This means emails may be in a more simple format, the Facebook page is a good way to get more immediate updates, and there is a lot to look forward to.
SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLES:
Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter: @policyoutloud
Clubhouse: @taylorpatrice
Clubhouse is now open to Android users. By following me, on the app you can see what upcoming talks I am hosting.
See you all over the place!