American Soil
Hello from transit…again.
‘My daughter, you will learn…
You will learn that the world is a relatively safe place to open your heart up to.
You will learn quite quickly, you’ll walk out very different than you walked in.
You will learn to stop comparing that walk to the journey of others.
You will learn that patriotism can and should be an act of humanitarianism.
You will learn that being simply the ‘victim’ or the ‘victor’ is a horribly insufficient narrative.
You will learn it is possible to solve big problems.
You will learn that the US is truly one of the best countries in the world…
…but you will also learn that relying solely on this message is what people say to allow themselves to be passive and uncritical of our nation’s shortcomings and policy failures.
You’re going to find that distance is the catalyst that allows you to see your country more clearly, and prepare you for the work ahead.
You will learn how big your footprint is, and you will take the trail you leave behind you more seriously.
You will face some very hard and lonely and scary times, away from every ounce of comfort you are familiar with. You’ll find people to walk these times with, and you won’t know it at the time, but you will turn around, and call these very struggles blessings.
You will learn that the things that used to break your heart don’t have the same effect anymore. Hope and heartbreak will take on new meaning.
You will re-meet God, and it’s going to have this radical effect on your life.
You will spend the next few years working with refugees from different war torn countries. You will hold their babies and tie their shoes, you and them both foreigners in a far away land.
You will learn that strength is a heart issue, not a mind or muscle issue.
You will travel to different countries, studying their policies as you go. One, two, then 32 in total. Some will love you. Some will refuse to serve you. Each is justified in their feelings towards your country. You will learn that you alone are what they think of when they think of Americans, so represent your country well regardless of how you find people.
You don’t know it yet, but you’ll also come to believe your country needs what you have to offer.
And you will learn in a world full of aggression, gentle is the giant we need.
My daughter, you will learn.’
These are the things I’d say, if I could talk to myself as I stood on the tarmac three years ago, leaving my country for the very first time.
And as I stand here today I meditate on what this chapter has meant to me, and I look at it in all it’s beauty and chaos, and I feel joy.
But as I look back with joy, I know I look forward to a country facing a lot of pain, turmoil and confusion.
My own beloved country.
I learned recently that a growing number of Americans believe the US is headed for civil war.
This is a disheartening reality to return to as I board the plane back after three years spent abroad.
As a woman who has had her hands entrenched in the second and third order effects of political violence for the last three years, I can say with total certainty this is the wrong direction for our country.
Boarding this plane is bittersweet. I’m sad to close the chapter on a part of my story I have loved so dearly, with people who I have cherished so deeply, and in which I have changed so dynamically.
Though I’m not quite ready to go, I am ready to do the hard work we all have ahead of us as a nation, alongside you.
For my friends, there is much, much work to do.
I’ll see you soon, from American soil.
Your faithful compatriot,
Taylor Patrice